1. your dimples which have captivated me since day one.
2. your shoulders i both cry over and cry on. comfortable eye candy, what more could a princess ask for?
3. your somehow both shy and demanding expression when you ask to hold my hands.
4. your angry blush at compliments and the way it turns your skin rose gold.
5. How nicely you clean up in dressy clothes.
6. How nicely you clean up in sporty spice looks.
7. the spot under your chin that was made just for me.
8. them legs tho.
9. your choker collection and everything that happens immediately after seeing you in one.
10. your smell.

11. your love of 🐨🍵 memes.
12. your contagious zodiac/astrology obsession.
13. your art heaux tendencies and all the museums they've led us to see together.
14. your passion for dance and how it remains such an important part of your life, reflecting your diligence and commitment to what matters to you.
15. your endearingly ferocious love of sports and all things competitive.
16. your vault of pop culture references that is matched only by my own.
17. your top notch taste in music and how open you are to being introduced to new artists, as well as how many new artists you've introduced me to.
18. how much of a foodie you are and how happy i know i can make you with something as simple as a beloved hometown snack or as fancy as a palace dinner in russia.
19. your eternal attachment to coffee which i have finally mastered how to make exactly to your liking (leading to the most satisfying reactions in the world.)
20. your inspiring dedication to teaching and the obvious adoration you have for every single one of those kids, who will always cherish what they learned from you and take it with them wherever their bright paths lead.

21. traveling together and taking breathtaking photographs of you in fancy shirts with the sun at your back.
22. the countless sighs as i try on all my potential tourist looks for you in runway montage fashion.
23. running a hot (but not too hot for goldilocks) bath in whatever hotel we check into on the first night of any vacation.
24. learning enough from my sporty spice teacher bae to be able to attend my first ever sporting event and vaguely understand when to cheer.
25. visiting the farm together and the way you always help with the chores (even though i know it's mostly to stare at me in my overalls.)
26. going on international dates where i can fully indulge in all my hopeless romantic whims while you shake your head in fond frustration.
27. the way you cuddle up to me on the plane and make fun of my neck pillows in between naps and snacks.
28. how conscious you are of the fact that i'm a walking hazard and all the precautions you take in order to keep me in one piece.
29. your admirable and also unfathomable enthusiasm to walk around and see every single notable sight a location has to offer.
30. discovering all the places that have tugged at your heart and planning trips to visit them in the future, knowing we've got forever ahead of us to explore the world hand in hand.

31. the euphoric look on your face the moment my fingers close around your throat.
32. how your feisty scorpio nature never leaves you, even when - or perhaps especially when - punishments are at stake.
33. the way you nudge me out of my comfort zone but always make me feel safe and taken care of when stretching my limits (and when stretching other things, too.)
34. how impressively long you can ride me for and the exquisite movement of your thighs while you do.
35. your endless patience with my fussy body, which never comes across like annoyance.
36. the offense that explodes to the forefront when you find out i've been harboring a fantasy and the absolute determination you get to fulfill it as soon as possible.
37. your signature smirk of triumph and pride when you get me to do something i didn't think i could.
38. the fact that we can still make each other laugh blush tear up etc during ridiculously intense sex.
39. the effortless balance we strike between making love and downright filthy fucking. 10/10 for variety.
40. those breathless kisses when we're coming down. the messier the better.

41. your fierce loyalty to others and to your own beliefs.
42. your love for animals and how serious i know you are about having a place full of them one day.
43. the fact that you can't cook but still go out of your way to try and get me to nibble, always looking out for my health.
44. your insight and intuition, which often help to guide me and open my eyes to different perspectives.
45. your outgoing and magnetic nature that makes me so proud to show up anywhere at your side.
46. THAT SCORPIO HEAT THO.
47. your sharp, smart sense of humor and how fun and full of laughter you are.
48. how much knowledge you have and how not only willing but enthusiastic you are about sharing it with others.
49. the soft, tender parts of your heart that you've opened up to me, and how poignantly you feel certain things, like when you get weepy over farm dreams.
50. the staggering strength and resilience you've carried through every obstacle you've faced, inspiring the rest of us to know we can get to the next day too.

51. "i mee" (+ all other precious sleepy mumbles)
52. "how did you get so good at scalp massages"
53. "little one" (+ my dozen other pet names)
54. "i'm so in love with you, it's gross" (+ every other variation of fond frustration)
55. "*series of swears a la the explicit tour guide sidekick here*"
56. "can i be your boyfriend, can i?"
57. "your hands are my religion"
58. "you're my perfect match"
59. "kis(s)me(t)" (+ every reference to the stars & our signs)
60. "you're safe"

61. your adorable nonsensical morning blips that have become some of my favorite soft hours moments.
62. your clockwork panic when you're right after me on the plug dj waiting list and we start an activity.
63. your nyc swagger and how thick your accent can get depending on the situation.
64. your cute use of the pouty emoji when you're in baby boy mode.
65. how impossibly warm you are all the time and the fact that it causes you to sleep naked.
66. your signature drag race quality library is open reads that nearly make me fall out of bed every time.
67. the intense almost distressed happiness that takes over your whole body whenever someone shows you a cute child or animal doing something precious.
68. how passionately you stan for your favorites and find every opportunity to advocate for talent!!
69. your teacher vibes that come out whenever i'm in serious need of further english education.
70. your "lmao"s, particularly when followed by my name, and the fact that this led to one of the most iconic deaths in maf history.

71. watching trashy reality tv with you.
72. going to sleep safely spooned/swaddled and waking up in the same spot with your arms just as snug around me.
73. going to each other's stomping grounds (studio, classroom, salon) and seeing where the magic happens 😏
74. discovering similarities like some old 90s song or tv show we both happen to love and shrieking about us being a perfect match.
75. performing in front of each other and wearing obnoxious matching #1 fan merch every time.
76. spending time with our friends and getting to bask in how much everyone else appreciates the gift of your presence too.
77. facetiming with my mom and seeing your heart burst the same way mine does when she only films her forehead.
78. knitting while cocooned in your lap and glancing up to catch your sweet dopey smile.
79. sharing endless memories of how we grew up, our time as roommates, and now our time as a couple.
80. looking at the stars, the very same ones that put us together.

81. when you carry me.
82. when you convince me to try (and succeed at) something new.
83. when you give me endless reasons to hype you up, #1 fan style.
84. when you smile like this.
85. when you take care of me at all times.
86. when you go in for a kiss + possessive cradling.
87. when you make it so tempting to polite cat.
88. when you make your priorities known.
89. when you say something funny and turn me into this.
90. when you fucking ruin me with your bde.

91. the entire journey of our relationship and how much we both grew from it and continue to grow together every day.
92. the day of romance that you chose to confess you still had feelings for me. the beginning of us healing.
93. the number of times you've checked locks, checked under beds, and opened scary doors for me in more ways than one.
94. the moment in our field when i told you i trusted you again and we wept until the breeze dried our tears and then made love in the blankets.
95. the superbowl for a lot of reasons, #1 being you in that jersey.
96. our dance in the garden in milan and everything else surreal and beyond my wildest dreams that happened on that surprise trip.
97. the rooftop question that still makes me explode with giddiness every time i think about how smoothly you asked me to be yours.
98. the support of your glowing face and booming cheers in the audience every time i'm on stage, or just existing as myself.
99. the quiet moments of bonding i've watched you have with my father and how much they've helped him heal.
100. the feeling of having a complete and total partner at my side in every sense, whether it's with family, friends, or personal struggles; i always know i have you, and you have me too.

to my darling starboy,

i have never known anyone like you, and i have never nor will i ever love anyone like i love you. every day i feel extraordinarily lucky to have found you, although i fully believe fate and the universe were on our side on that one. what were the odds of me finding my soulmate on craigslist?? now it's been 100 days since we finally took the step from best friends to what we were always meant to be and i couldn't be happier. here are just 100 of the infinite reasons why i adore you. and i suppose i also owe you a poem now, don't i?

kismet.

he holds me like he's seen the galaxy
in the swirling colors of my canvas.
he touches me like he's never felt luxury
like the silk of my skin warmed by his.
he kisses me at dawn,
when the sky is mid-yawn,
and at the dark curl of night,
when our stars flicker to life.

- bn, your little dipper.